


family of ten

by schnaf



Series: im-prompt-u challenge [16]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, family 'who knows maybe it's what will actually happen soon', family au, family canon compliance, family........ what?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27051583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schnaf/pseuds/schnaf
Summary: Having a serious conversation with your biggest daughter is rather difficult. Especially when she wants to know if you regret having children.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: im-prompt-u challenge [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969618
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	family of ten

**Author's Note:**

> so apparently this is what happens when you have a bunch of ideas and try to link them somehow. i tried to keep it short - there are many points in that story where i could have taken a little detour. today's prompt is "we are not a family of ten"!

There's someone sitting on a branch. Not Tarzan-like and awkwardly creeping in the top branches, it's a branch close to the ground and softly rounded into the perfect natural comfortable seat, yet the person on the branch looks a bit out of place, a black dot between the red and orange and brown of autumn.

Dan closes his jacket as he quickens his pace. It's surprisingly cold out here... Still, he focuses on the person at the tree, approaching her from the side. She doesn't notice him, she just gazes into the distance, lost in thought, so he can take a proper look at her.

An intimidating figure, still. The swooning girl with the shaved sides, smudged eyeliner and a band shirt that's too big for her under a bomber jacket looks like she could beat him up without batting an eye under different circumstances. But Dan knows her better than that, he’d already noticed more details about her and he notices them now too. The soft brown eyes. Her button nose. Her facial expression when she's around the other kids - well, he can't see that one right now but he vividly remembers it.

Dan stops right next to her, he clears his throat. Finally, she notices him - she jumps up, trying to hide the cigarette behind her back but then she realises it's ridiculous, he has already seen her smoking. So instead, she starts to defend herself. "I didn't smoke around the kiddos, okay? I went outside to have a smoke. Also, I'm wearing my smoker jacket so my clothes don't smell of smoke."

Maya raises her chin and the way she looks at Dan clearly says 'challenge me, do it. I did nothing wrong'. But before Dan gets to say anything, she adds something else. "It's only my first cig of the day."

She sounds so proud... And Dan is actually proud too. It feels a bit strange to be proud of your child for having her first cig around noon - but Maya isn't a regular child. He's glad it's just a cig, nothing else, he's glad to hear the pride in her voice whenever she announces she's able to cut her cigarette consumption down a bit. So instead of scolding her, he just waves it off and sits down beside her. Maya voluntary moves over a bit so he fits on the big part of the branch too. Then she looks at him, cocking her head a bit. "Do you mind if I...?" She lifts her cigarette.

"It's okay. Didn't want to interrupt your cigarette break." Dan lets her know - the little smile on her face when she takes another drag gives him a sting, though. Apparently, he isn't super relaxed about Maya smoking... But he can tolerate it as long as Maya is willing to give up on her bad habits.

For a while, they sit next to each other in silence, Maya smoking, Dan's gaze wandering around. Then, Maya finishes her cigarette. She gets out a little engraved silver box, opens it carefully and places the bud inside. Dan can't help but smile at the gesture - not only does she make sure to proper dispose of her buds, the box per se makes him feel a bit sentimental on top. It's the present Amanda, one of Maya's little sisters, gave to her and even though he doesn't seem like she'd value presents like that, she really cherishes her ashtray a lot.

After she placed the box inside her pocket again, Maya turns to him. "Can I ask you a question?"

Oof. That's one way to start a conversation - a way Dan hates. He hates it when the small ones ask it because they often come up with some questions about the universe he can't answer but he doesn't want to look like a fool either. But he also hates it when the bigger ones like Maya ask it. Her next question is going to be an uncomfortable one, that's for sure.

Still, he nods. And Maya doesn't keep him in suspense for much longer. "Don't you regret getting so many kids sometimes?"

Well. That's just what he thought. An uncomfortable question. So of course, Dan tries to dodge. "Maya. You talk like we're a family of ten. We're only nine people, though."

Maya's reaction is pretty predictable. She rolls her eyes at him before she hits him against the shoulder. Ah, he forgot that she's actually really strong - his shoulder will hurt for days, probably. And yet, he wasn't able to get away. All of a sudden, she starts scratching some patterns on the floor with the tip of her shoe.

She's nervous. It's really serious.

Her words say so too. "I watched some of your old videos."

"You said you wouldn't." Dan complains. He really doesn't know how to feel about it - sure, Phil's and his videos are nothing he's ashamed of, at least not of their videos in total. It's absolutely okay if their kids want to get to know more about them. But on the other hand, he felt really relieved when Maya said she wouldn't take a look at their YouTube accounts because she wanted to get her own impression of them.

Maya just shrugs it away. "Yeah, I know. But I was bored."

Okay, there's nothing to do about that anymore. She watched the videos, it's no big deal anyway.

Or - it is. Because apparently, it has something to do with her question at the start. "And now you're wondering if we're regretting having so many kids." Dan concludes.

When Maya sighs softly, the familiar feeling of insecurity returns. Damn, he still doesn't know how to react in some situations - he doesn't know if she wants a hug or if it would be completely wrong to put his arm around her. Luckily, she shuts down his thoughts by explaining her question. "Yeah. I... I saw how your life used to be, I guess? Okay, I don't think you played games all day long, but... You did play games a lot. And you used to sleep much longer. And -"

"But not being able to sleep in every single day isn't a reason to regret having children." Dan interrupts her, ignoring the little sting. Even though he acts that way, she isn't completely off with that assumption - it actually was hard to adjust their daily schedule to a life with children and sometimes he misses just staying in bed. But more often than that, he's thankful - apparently, he needed this pressure and the consequent change in his sleeping habits to feel a bit better.

Maya insists on her point, though. To be honest, that's why he dared to interrupt her - he knew it wouldn't throw her off, he knew she'd still be able to get her issues off her chest. "Yes, maybe. But it used to be you and Phil. And now, there's a bunch of kids. It wasn't even a slow process, you weren't able to get used to it - it happened all of a sudden."

Dan takes a moment to form his next answer. He needs to choose his words carefully - he knows that Maya will be able to get his point but still, it's difficult to express his feelings. "I can't claim it was easy all the time. And we never planned on getting so many kids. But - we couldn't say no. We knew we were able to provide each of you with a better life. Picking just one of you would have felt unfair."

This time, Maya avoids his gaze. She still doesn't like to talk about her past. "So you do miss the old times."

"Sometimes." Dan answers truthfully. "Sometimes, I just don't want to - I don't know, be there all the time? Be responsible all the time? But most of the time, I do. It helped me a lot to realise that someone actually needed me in their life - that for someone, it makes a difference whether I just sleep all day or whether I'm actually around. You guys changed my life for the better."

Maya stays quiet. It's okay, at least for a while. Then, Dan can feel the insecurity creep up again. Did he say something wrong?

He nudges his daughter. "Do you believe me?"

His pleading voice worked. Maya turns her head towards him, she grins. "I do." But the giggle in her voice is gone with the next sentence. "I already did. It's just... I don't understand it. Maybe you were better off without us."

Oh. That's - Dan hurries to reply. "No. Believe me. That's really not the case."

A slight nod. And Dan feels relieved at once. So relieved that he feels it's okay to make jokes again. "Well, if you look at my Mario Kart abilities... I was better off without you guys. I can't practice properly anymore. And you don't understand how having children makes you feel. You don't have any and we'd like to keep it that way."

Maya pokes his tongue out at him, but Dan can't even feel offended. She's okay, she believes him and that's more important. Especially when she smiles at him all of a sudden. "But I do understand how you feel. It's the same as getting six siblings, I guess. They're annoying little brats, but I love these fuckers."

Yes. Yes, that's it and Dan doesn't even doubt that their experiences are kind of similar - just thinking about Maya's interaction with her younger siblings, so soft, so careful and yet sometimes teasing, tells him they're on the same track.

"Yeah, you're right. And - you wouldn't want to give them away, would you? At least most of the time. But you weren't used to so many kids either, just like us." Dan points out and Maya hums in agreement.

Now that they’ve settled their discussion, they both go quiet. Dan expects Maya to get up, to go inside, to get her phone or another cig out, but she just sits next to him, lost in thought, probably musing about their family, just like he does... Then, Dan clears his throat. "Okay, Maya. I know you inherited my snarky bitch gene and you're probably going to make fun of me for getting sappy. But I really like talking to you."

It's the truth. He doesn't just say that because he wants Maya to feel at home - it's actually the truth. Maybe it's her background, the life experiences she’s already gained, maybe it's because she's almost half his age, so old that he would have been a really young father if he had actually fathered her. But most of all, it's because she's simply a cool person.

Contrary to what he just assumed, Maya doesn't make fun of him. Instead... "I'm so fucking glad I met you guys. I mean, they always told me no one would want to adopt me anymore, that I was simply too old and I’d had to live on the streets my whole life. But you gave me more than a roof over my head. You -"

She shakes her head and Dan can tell why. He wouldn't have been able to go more into detail in her place either. Looks like she also inherited his inability to express feelings...

To avoid her feeling embarrassed, Dan switches the topic. "What are your plans for tonight?"

Maya is eager to comply. Yep, he was right, she actually feels weird about announcing her feelings. "I wanted to meet with Jason."

"Jason as in the nerdy guy whose taste in music is even worse than yours, the Jason that makes you laugh because he's so ridiculous?" Dan enquires. There's no need for Maya to answer, the grin and the slight blush on her face tell him she's actually talking about the guy she may or may not have a small crush on.

Still, he doesn't let the chance to tease her a bit slip. "Do I need to teach you about the birds and bees? Do I need to tell you to about the importance of waiting with sex until you know someone better?"

It helps Maya to loosen up a bit. Well, she rolls her eyes at him again. "Ah, yes? You forgot I took a look into your past. You weren't that much older than I am today when you met Phil for the first time. And people say you fucked right on your first meeting."

Now it's Dan's turns to blush. Damn, she got him there. "You only said you watched my videos. Also, we didn't fuck."

"Oh, are we getting nit-picky now? You made out, didn't you? You ca-" This time, Dan has no concerns about getting too close to her. He puts his hand on her mouth, pulling her into a headlock. It's probably only thanks to the element of surprise that he actually manages to pull it off.

For a moment, he keeps her like that, waiting until the angry mumbling against his hand dies down. (She neither licks nor bites, thus he knows she is okay with the harsh treatment.) When he finally releases her, they exchange a silent look and they both know it's a truce.

Maya actually sounds like nothing happened when she continues their conversation. "What did you plan for tonight?"

"I didn't actually plan something. But I just thought it would be neat to do some pumpkin carving. We could do it today and watch a movie afterwards. I don't know, something halloween-y, but appropriate for the little ones too." Dan explains. Looking at Maya, he notices a sparkle in her eyes.

"Oh. In that case, I'll cancel on Jason." She already gets out her phone, Dan stops her from texting her crush immediately by grabbing her wrists.

"Hey, you don't have to. I didn't say it was mandatory. You can meet up with Jason instead, no big deal." He points out.

But Maya shakes her head. "No, I really want to do some pumpkin carving with you guys. I can meet with Jason another time." She actually sounds enthusiastic and Dan can't help but smile at her excitement.

Doesn't change the fact that he didn't want to ruin her date, though. "But what about Jason? You... You could invite him over. If that doesn't make you look uncool, I have no clue about that."

Oh. Apparently, looking uncool is no issue at all for Maya. Her face lights up immediately. "You would be okay with that?"

Dan shrugs. "I would. What about him?"

"If he doesn't like my family, he's trash." No hesitation. Maya just blurts it out like that and this time, Dan approaches her a bit more gentle. He pulls her into a hug. God, this little punk really makes him sappy...

He can't let go of the snarky comment, though. "But if he does, it would make us a family of ten."


End file.
